


Michael In The Bathroom

by Keys_writings



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Michael whump, Michael-centric, Self-Harm, Trans Michael, Trans Michael Jones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:41:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keys_writings/pseuds/Keys_writings
Summary: Michael stood in front of the mirror. After Gavin had spilled his drink on him during breakfast, he had to run to the bathroom. He knows there will be questions to answer but Michael is dealing with a bigger problem. The Girl in the Mirror.





	Michael In The Bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael stood in front of the mirror. After Gavin had spilled his drink on him during breakfast, he had to run to the bathroom. He knows there will be questions to answer but Michael is dealing with a bigger problem now. The Girl in the mirror

Michael stood in front of the mirror. After Gavin had spilled his drink on him during breakfast, he had to run to the bathroom. The team will have filled into the living room by now, wondering about him. He knows there will be questions to answer later but right now Michael is dealing with a bigger problem. The Girl in the mirror.

The Girl in it stares back at him. Michael had to take off his shirt to wash all of it. Normally fine but he had made the mistake of looking into the mirror, of looking at _Her._

In his own room, Michael had ~~trashed~~ gotten rid of all the mirrors he owned. But in the hall bathroom, they were brightly light and recently polished. With his shirt off he have a clear view of what was hidden underneath. ~~What he was hiding from.~~

There was a hesitant knocking at his door. 

"Michael?" Ryan said on the other side. Michael stared at the Girl, trying to ignore the door. "I just want to make you're okay dude. You've seemed off lately. We've been worried." Michael flinched at the words. After a few long seconds Ryan asked again, “Michael?”

_'Off lately. _The last thing he wants to do was worry the crew. The last thing he wanted to do is make them worry about him.__

____

__

"I'm fine. Just, uh, didn't want my shirt to stain. I'll be out soon," Michael lied, still staring at the Girl. He could feel Ryan’s skepticism through the door. 

"Uh-huh. Well you know we’re always here if you need to talk right?" 

Michael had no idea how to respond to that. He desperately wanted to open the door, to let Ryan in and have the older man fix all his problems. But the Girl in the mirror whispered that Ryan would hate him forever if he saw Michael like this. Saw what he was hiding. If he knew Michael was… wasn’t who he said he was.  


"Yeah okay." 

Michael heard Ryan walking away. 

He let out a soft sigh. Michael lifted a shaking hand to his chest, feeling the fabric. The Girl in the mirror mimics him doing it. She looks beautiful. Feminine and cute. The long eyelashes, slim jaw, wide eyes. The high voice. 

Beautiful- 

Except for the short haircut. Except for that piece of disgusting of fabric on Her chest. Except for the too big shirt in her hands, the baggy pants that don’t fit quite right, in the right places, the angry face. Michael clenches his fist. Hunches his shoulders forward. The Girl does the same. On Her face an angry scowl. How pathetic. Like She's mocking him, Her small hands shaking in anger. The cute little Girl trying to be scary. _The Girl pretending to be a boy._

"Aaaaaahhhh!" With a yell Michael desperately swings his fist to the mirror. He created a crack in the glass over the Girl’s face. The pain in his hand from the glass was blinding. But the Girl was still there, still mocking his attempt to break Her. Choking off a sob, Michael swung again, this time with better results. Her face was destroyed but Michael kept going. Hitting it till he shattered the mirror. Till the Girl inside was gone. 

Finally done, Michael slowly lowered himself to the floor. His body betraying him, he couldn't stop the tears that had built up. His hands were bleeding where glass was smashed into them and he just hurt. 

Michael heard the sound of someone running, but it didn’t register to him that he was the one someone was running towards. He came to when he saw the doorknob turning. He shifted in an attempt to get up, get dressed, _do something_ for fucks sake stop being so fucking pathetic. Michael stopped trying to stand up and cowered into the corner just before the door was opened. Ryan’s worried face peered through. 

"Michael?" Ryan breathed, taking the scene in. He slowly closed the door behind him and dropped into a crouch a safe distance from Michael. 

Michael knew what a mess he was. He was hiding in the corner of a bathroom sitting on his ass with broken and bloodied glass around him. He had his knees up against his chest, face buried in them. His arms covering his ears, blood running down them. He could only imagine what he thought of him. He looked pathetic, worthless. Like a child. ~~Like a girl.~~

Michael slammed his hand down on the glass around him, digging the glass further in his hand. The thoughts quieted from the pain but more tears leaked through. 

“Michael! Michael, shhh. Hey what happened?” Ryan was trying to get to Michael, but he was barefoot and there was so much glass around. “Michael, you’re okay, tell me what happened. It’s okay, what happened?” 

But those gentle words turned into more tears. Michael was trying to stop it, stop it _god dammit boys don't cry_ ,but his tears got louder and louder till he was wailing on the floor with the glass scattered in and around him. The tears that built up over his outburst were freely falling down his face. 

Ryan was still crouched, still talking but Michael was too understand what he was saying. 

Michael barely noticed when Ryan turned to open the door in response to the knocking. Geoff came in, with Jack on his heels. They froze at the sight of the Michael sobbing on the bathroom floor. Michael could hear Ryan quietly asked Jack to help him clear away the glass and for Geoff to bring him his shoes. 

Michael wanted to get up himself, to not cause such a big scene. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t even take his arms way from his legs. The older three men had a quiet conversation, no doubt about him. How much of a hassle he was. About what a mess he was, how he’s such a baby. Michael fist clenched on his knee. He slammed his fist against the floor again. Michael heard the older men yell in shock. 

Michael let his fist stay on the ground, not bothering to bring it backup to hid his face. 

He was so tired.


End file.
